60 Funny Posts About ‘Neckbeard Things’, As Shared On This Online Group

Prepare yourselves, dear Pandas, we’re about to journey into one of the most shadowy and hilarious corners of the internet—into the vast Cringe Empire, home of the elusive, socially inept neckbeards. Known for their poor hygiene, misogynistic points of view, [ahem] ‘interesting’ style choices, love of anime, katanas, body pillows, and Japanese culture, these fedora-wearing individuals are called neckbeards.

A pejorative term, it lightly pokes fun at those geeks who have over-inflated egos (and more than occasionally—over-inflated tummies), are often misogynistic, call people “m’lady,” and believe that acting like a functioning member of society is more of a recommendation than a requirement. Whether or not they have a beard on their necks or in their hearts is beside the point. All that matters is the beard in their soul.

One place that publicly shames the most cringeworthy neckbeards is the ‘Just Neckbeard Things’ subreddit, a community of nearly 809k members. It’s an online group “for mocking those who adorn their necks with proud man fur.” And I love their tagline which is “barba non philisophum facit” which roughly translated from Latin means “one's beard does not make a philosopher.”

Have a look through some of the subreddit’s funniest and quirkiest posts about neckbeards, upvote the ones that made you laugh, and be sure to give the online group a visit if you enjoyed their stuff. Onwards, dear Readers! Just remember not to touch anyone’s fedora—it makes them... angry.

Plenty of neckbeards eat very poorly, move very little, and stereotypically subsist on Doritos and Mountain Dew, which means their health isn't up to scratch. Bored Panda reached out to fitness expert Jack Bly to hear his take on what we can do to improve our health and fitness if we feel that it's negatively impacting the quality of our lives. You'll find his insights below.

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#1 Those Red Caps Are The New Fedoras

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#2 Just A Friendly Reminder!

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#3 Where's The Lie?

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I wanted to get fitness expert Jack's take on what foods to go for when losing weight. Going on a new diet can mean that you're constantly feeling hungry which can, in turn, mean that you're more likely to go back to your old snacking and fast-food habits.

Jack told Bored Panda that high satiety foods are key to keeping hunger at bay. "The foods you are eating need to be high in protein and high volume in order to fill you up," he pointed out.

According to Jack, if someone's looking to lose some weight, he recommends weight lifting as a priority when it comes to exercise. However, mixing that together with some cardio "would be optimal," in his opinion.

"Weight lifting is more of the 'long term fix' as when you put on muscle mass, your body burns more calories just at rest. Thus, this makes it much easier to burn fat and keep it off long term," he said.

#4 "They'll Understand Me In Japan"

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#5 Graphs Don't Lie

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#6 Women And Their... *shuffles Deck* ...pants!

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The fitness expert told Bored Panda that if someone's dissatisfied with their life and their health, they need to "get very clear on the CHOICE" they have to make. "You can endure the pain of workouts and different eating habits OR you can endure the pain of obesity, brain fog, poor mood, early death, low energy, medical bills, and low confidence."

He added: "It isn’t much of a choice at the end of the day."

How neckbeards are defined entirely depends on who you ask about them. For some, they’re anime-loving, fake katana-wielding dorks who dream about living in Japan. For others, they’re arrogant jerks and 'incels' who see themselves as better than everyone else and have a sense of entitlement that few can match. Often, neckbeards portray themselves as gentlemen, philosophers, and men of culture. Often… they’re anything but.

#7 It’s Hard Out Here For A Neckbeard Trying To Find The Proper M’lady

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#8 A Nice Shot Of The Pastor Who Told Wives To Lose Weight And Look More Feminine

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#9 Say It Again Louder For The People At The Back

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Others still associate neckbeards mostly with their exterior characteristics. The iconic fedora. The baggy suits. The overweight physiques. The slightly (fine, fine, more than just ‘slightly’) weird obsession with the ‘My Little Pony’ cartoon. And, of course, the scruffy, unkempt beards on their necks that are a modern version of what’s popular among the Amish community in the US. Each of these things doesn’t mean much in isolation, but when taken together, they paint a picture of someone who may need to work very hard to improve their life.

The r/justneckbeardthings subreddit has been active since late June of 2013 and recently celebrated its 8th birthday.

The moderators have got only 4 rules that members need to follow, including avoiding reposts (“Reposts are for losers,” they explain), not being a neckbeard on Reddit, being nice to turtles (here are a couple of possible explanations for the phrase), and avoiding sharing any and all personal info. Sure, the subreddit might be all about mocking neckbeards, but the mods point out that they don’t want to see any bullying or witch-hunts.

#10 My Doctoral Thesis

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#11 Accurate

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#12 Just Chilling In Moms Basement

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“At the core, neckbeards’ inflated egos and misogynistic attitudes towards women serve as a coping mechanism for personal insecurity and a lack of self-confidence. Such an attitude allows them to place the blame for their failed social interactions on others rather than undertake self-examination and improvement,” writes Urban Dictionary.

“Copious amounts of Mountain Dew, Doritos, video games, and a sedentary lifestyle are all additional hallmarks of the neckbeard ethos.”

#13 Not Even Satan Wants Neckbeards

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#14 F*ck You Then

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#15 I Think This Belongs Here..

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Meanwhile, another entry in Urban Dictionary describes neckbeards as “talkative, self-important nerdy men (usually age 30 and up) who, through an inability to properly decode social cues, mistake others' strained tolerance of their blather for evidence of their own charm.”

[Tips fedora] “M’panda.”

#16 I Can Respect That

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#17 Local Board Game Shop Fighting Back The Neckbeards

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#18 Forgive Me If A Repost, Hopefully This Brings As Much Joy To You As It Did Me. 100% My Brother And His Friends

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#19 Females Deserted Us

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#20 Revenge Of The Nerd

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#21 The More You Know...

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#22 Why Are You Booing Me? I’m Right

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#23 There's No Love

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#24 So Accurate It Hurts

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#25 My Boyfriend And I Dressed As A Neckbeard And His Waifu For Halloween

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#26 I Call It Cringe-Speak

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#27 When Even Your Fantasy Starts Dropping Hints

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#28 If You Want A "Strong" Woman, You're Gay!

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#29 Hi Beautiful

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#30 Wanna Hear A Scary Story, M'lady?

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#31 The Real Japanese Navy

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#32 The Difference Between Ww1 And Wwii

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#33 Accidental Neckbeardism

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#34 How Do You Go 62 Days Without A Shower??

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#35 When Your Euphoria Hits Other Players

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#36 Neck Beards In Public

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#37 Owo

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#38 I Wonder What She Did

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#39 Nani!?!?!? Don't Y'all Just Hate It When This Happens?

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#40 All That’s Missing Is Don Draper And Bill The Butcher

"white dude between 15 and 24 who got straight Cs in high school and is smarter than everyone else in the world starter pack"

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#41 The Market Decided...

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#42 American Animation Is Art

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#43 Having A Girlfriend Is Cheating! /S

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#44 Just Normal Everyday Things

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#45 A Poor, Deaf Girls Nightmare

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#46 I Stand Corrected

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#47 So You're Saying There's A Chance?

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#48 Shoutout To The Mods Of R/Imgoingtohellforthis

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#49 A Guy I Work With Won A Comp Kitkat Were Doing, He Got To Choose His Own Design To Be Made

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#50 Something A Little Different?

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#51 The Reeeeaction Would Be So Satisfying

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#52 Thought This Belonged

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#53 Neckbeards On A Vacation

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#54 I Told Him To Stop Messaging Me Because My Boyfriend Was Uncomfortable With Me Being In Contact With Him...

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#55 Telling A Little Girl That Feminism Sucks

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#56 This Is Fake, Right?

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#57 His Mom Is Stacy Af

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#58 Ticker Of Many Boxes

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#59 How To Properly Argue With A Redditor

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#60 I Tell You H'what

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